High Maintenance or Child of the Most High?

I'm going way back into the far reaches of my heart and mind to a really tender place today.  I've thought about writing a post on this dozens of times but it can be really difficult to express our deepest places of hurt because shame, fear and a number of other tactics used by the enemy try to silence us and make us feel too broken and useless.  But really, the main reason is that there were still some really healing truths Jesus wanted to show me about himself. 

I will never forget where I was sitting several years ago when these five words were uttered, "you're a high maintenance friend." These words would seemingly confirm my worst fear about myself. It was in the open now, it was said by someone that knew me well.  She sees this in me therefore it must be true.  This moment would till the soil for un-Godly self talk in friendships and even in my marriage--for years.  Because it was said by someone I loved, I assumed it was true.  It never occurred to me after the conversation that my friend was wwas saying it out of a place of anger.  Or worse yet, to intentionally hurt me.  I know some of you reading this are hearing me right now because maybe you've experienced something similar by someone you love.  Someone you felt safe with.  And if you have, let me just cover you with the grace and love of Jesus right now.

When people we love speak words over us in an unloving way it does something to us. It rushes to the deepest places our hearts have to offer and takes up residence.  And although we try to put those words aside and forget them, some of them still linger in the back of our minds and dictate to us that we need to fix ourselves to merely be acceptable to other people. And if not, you'll just stay high maintenance.  And who wants a high maintenance friend? No one.  These were my thoughts.  Still are sometimes.  Our hearts reaction to unloving words expose our brokenness. It exposes a need for a love much greater and deeper than a friend can offer.  Why?  Because we were created to long for love, long for acceptance, long for a safe place to be fully broken yet fully loved.  We were created to long for Jesus. Those things cannot be found in friendships although friendships are a beautiful thing.  But only Jesus can fully satisfy the cry of our hearts.  

Our friends need Jesus.  Our friends need love.  Our friends need grace.  Our friends need acceptance in their broken places.  So the next time you're tempted to say or think an unloving word over them, will you consider that they are broken just like you?  Their brokenness more than likely manifests differently than yours does, and that's okay.  Can I submit to you that your response to them is a way your own brokenness is exposed?

I was reading parts of this post to my husband yesterday he mentioned a song by Matt Redman that is a perfect way to illustrate what Jesus speaks over us.  Here are some of the lyrics:

Your blood speaks a better word

Than all the empty claims I've heard upon this Earth
Speaks righteousness for me and stands in my defense
Jesus it's Your blood

What can wash away our sins?
What can make us whole again?
Nothing but the blood
Nothing but the blood of Jesus

What can wash us pure as snow?
Welcomed as the friends of God
Nothing but Your blood
Nothing but Your blood King Jesus

Your cross testifies in grace
Tells of the Father's heart to make a way for us
Now boldly we approach not by earthly confidence

But Jesus it's your blood.

I am a child of the Most High and his word speaks over us that we are loved.  We are valued.  We are broken and he is here to heal us.  Let Jesus' better word be the focus of our hearts and not the words pulled back in the arrow of the enemy and shot our direction. 

Before I go, let me share  just a few things the Bible has to say to us about our hearts, our speech and our words.  

With it {our tongue} we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.  {James 3: 9-10}

Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt..."  {Colossians 4:6}

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  {Matthew 12:34}

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. {Proverbs 15:4}

Lets use our words to love, build up and encourage our friends today.

Your Broken but Redeemed Friend, 

Becca